WHY LA? MY IRONIC AUSSIE PERSPECTIVE

Why is it that rollerbladers look so cool when they clasp their hands behind their back?

Why are those Mexican take away vendors far more delicious than going into a Mexican restaurant?

Why is it that I'm the only Australian who is not rolling my 'r's yet?

Why does everyone want to pay a fortune and live in Malibu when all they get is Marine layer all day?

Why have they built an underground railroad when they know there will be another earthquake?

Why are there so many pretty blondes with fake breasts on Sunset Boulevard?

What is a frappaccino and a moccacino? Haven't these guys been to Italy yet and realized there is no such thing?

Why is Hollywood called Hollywood when there aren't any woods?

Why do they say that California is so full of fresh running water yet no one will drink it?

What's so bad about living in the Valley? Isn't the west 'valley' just as spread out, traffic ridden, smog polluted and identical?

What makes L.A so special about becoming famous as a rock star when no one comes to see your gigs anyway?

Why, when rollerblades are so in now, do they now bring back rollerskates?

Why is car insurance so expensive yet the DMV doesn't check your car for rust etc?  Do they really care if you have an accident?

Why DO Americans drive on the right side of the road? Didn't they come from England?

How come President Clinton gets away with sleeping around?

How come everyone thinks anywhere outside of L.A that's in an hour's radius is SO FAR from anywhere, when it takes an hour within L.A to get somewhere?

Why is car insurance so expensive? Really? Is it a silent plot against Chevron?

Do circling helicopters REALLY help catch the bad guys or do they just like making noise?

Or do they like creating crowds?

Are we all numb to freeway car chases or do we really enjoy watching the show on all 30 channels?

Has anyone met Angelina?

I've only met a handful who don't work in the entertainment industry. Why are they here? Really? Surely there's a quieter place to raise your children…?

What's with immigration? Are they that slow in returning phone calls? Or don't they have phones at their desk? Why does it take so long just to approve a piece of paper? Aren't they getting enough office supplies to find a pen?

When someone asked me what I did for a living (which is the usual at a Hollywood party) I said I grow gum trees. Why do they believe me?

Why does everyone think I'm from England? I mean Australia is the same distance away. Or doesn't anyone know about Australia? (yeah we speak German…)

And in question to the previous questions: with all the tourist ads on Australia, why do they think of England first? Have you ever seen a British tourist commercial recently? "Come to London…. and drink Fosters with the Aussies in Earl Court…"

Why is it that I grew up in Australia saying 'guacohmaaaaale' and they really say here 'guacamole'?

What IS it about Malibu, when there's only one windy road and plenty of land slides?

Why do they still sell Tang here as a drink when in the southern hemisphere its been banned for a decade because its cancer forming? Is this some form of secret genocide?

Why doesn't any Los Angelene want to ride the buses when I've never been on transport so efficient and economical? Try it, you'd be surprised.

Never Too Old

If you're at a certain age where you are starting to feel like you are "too old" for what you want to do, think again: perhaps you're just looking at it the wrong way.

Being in the music business, I have heard countless times from artists how they have been told they are "too old" to achieve music success.

Being an overnight sensation takes decades. It is unrealistic to assume that success if overnight. Talk to any business person, and they will say that creating a successful business takes many years, and maturity. Yes, there are flukes. Perhaps sheer luck, timing, or being at the right place, or knowing the right people. But a business that keeps their success over a period of time usually takes time to become successful, and takes a lot of work to stay successful.

So, if you're an artist pushing 40, think of yourself as one of those businesses that have been evolving, learning, working hard and building credibility over time. Because it takes time.

I believe one needs to ignore the "nay-sayers" who tend to knock your age. It's usually their sheer limited view or ignorance that makes them judge you on age first. The metrics by which you should follow should be talent, passion, enthusiasm, and stick-ability.

Talent: merit your abilities based on your unique talents for the "job". Do you feel you have what it takes?
Passion: do you love what you are doing? Do you love it so much you'll do anything to make it happen?
Enthusiasm: are you going about it with sheer joy and excitement? Are you enjoying the journey?
Stick-ability: Are you willing to stick it out and ride the waves? Those who succeed are prepared to go the long haul.

Fiction: you need to be 18-25 to be a successful artist.
Fact: there are many artists who are successful and who have found success in their thirties, forties, fifties and beyond.

Those who tell you that you are too old: stop listening. You are an artist for life.  I would imagine you started this when you were knee high to a grass hopper, so don't let them tell you that you are now too old. This is a life long journey of discovery, building your business, and growing to be who you are. If people are telling you that you are too old, but you can agree to the above metrics, then you are listening to the wrong people. They may be star finders who can only see with limited vision; probably companies that only want young artists to mold into stars - who don't talk back, don't have a long track record, and who can sell music based on sex, youth and a short term marketing machine. Is this you? I think not.

You are not short term. You are long term. You are here for life. Work with, and surround yourself with people who believe in your talents, your passion, your enthusiasm and your stick-ability.

Live life on your own merits.

by gilli moon

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