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Tuesday, June 07, 2011

Where's your focus?

Recently I attended a workshop on Goal Making, thinking I'd know a lot of the subject matter, but I went anyway as it was free. It ended up changing my whole perspective on not only my goals, but how I communicated my commitment of them. In addition, it allowed me to really take a strong, hard look at what I'm focusing on, and what is important in my life.

I was prepared for a sit down seminar, and even brought my notepad and a cup of tea, ready to be in the back row, invisible, taking notes. I just wanted to be the observer.

Instead, I became an active participant in the first minute, contrary to my desire. I resisted hard (I didn't want to contribute, just listen). We all had to stand up and stand in a circle (ugh.. why pick me?) and the guide proceeded to ask us to shout at the top of our lungs: "Ta, Ka, Sa" together in unison.

My inner child was crying with humiliation, my adult self was bored, and my cup of tea was getting cold. Alas, there was no way out, and I continued on in my discomfort.

We were told to shout, to look at each other in the eyes, to jump forward, backward, along with various words. After 5 minutes, I felt like I was there an hour. I felt weary, closed off, inhibited and not willing to collaborate.

But then things started to shift. As the facilitator continued to push us to shout, move, collaborate physically in this circle, my resistance started to go.

Our "master" began to tell us about problems and solutions. "We focus too much on the problem and not enough on the solution. It's time to think only 5% on the problem, and 95% on the solution." I liked this. I have always been a troubleshooter in my life, but I instantly became a "solution provider" with this thought.

We were then led in lines to learn how to chop blocks in half with our bare hands. You know, the ones you see in the movies where the Karate Kid chops a block of wood in half? Yep, well we all had that chance. I learned how to do it in seconds, and I chopped 4 blocks with my hands, all on my own. Why? I learned to focus on the solution,... I learned to focus on what's behind the block, not the block itself. It was invigorating, chopping the blocks.

At the end of each activity, we yelled out together, "oh yeah, that's right,... woooooo," along with a hip body movement that we could come up with ourselves (like jumping, kicking the air, or fisting our hand in glee).

At the end of the hour I had loosened up, the smile was on my face, I was energized and slapping hands with my team buddies.

Some lessons I learned:

* Create and focus on your goal.

* Commit to following through with the goal. (Ever made a New Year's Resolution, only to forget about it a week later?) Write it down, and keep it in eye sight wherever you are.

* Get outside your comfort zone now and then. You'll be surprised what comes out of doing something out of the ordinary to create the extraordinary.

* Stay enthusiastic. Passion, joy, enthusiasm > it all rubs off, and gets others excited about what you are doing.

* Let go of things that don't serve you. Focus only on what YOU want in your life, not what others want of you. It's easier to commit, stay enthusiastic, and follow through on goals and creativity that is about you, from you, and serves you.

I recently went through a major change where I let go of a business I had. Although I had been slowly easing away from running the operations of this company, I realized that being at the helm not only didn't serve my spirit and where I wanted to go, personally, but being remote from the company didn't serve the benefit of the people still involved. I knew I had to release it, but that didn't go so smoothly, and not without much pain. For some reason, it became a battle in order to properly sever ties in a fashion that was legal and business-like, to the point where my needs did not end up being met in the transaction. I actually lost control of some simple intellectual property rights I owned.

But as I began to analyse the situation, I discovered that I got exactly what I originally asked for: release. In actuality, as much as I was fighting for my "rights", inside, I didn't want the control anymore, and that was my original desire. The reason why it became a battle was because I fought it the whole way. My old self was trying to hang on, but my new self had already moved on, and I was caught in the cross fire. When I decided to really, and truly, give it up, it didn't matter any more about the control, or the loss of "rights I owned" whether they were right or I was right.

Now, I'm in a place of truly letting it go, no matter what the outcome that has happened. So what that I lost something. I gave it away anyway. It was my choice to give it up, and the universe responded.

It is time for me to truly focus on the new goals I want to create in my life. I am prepared to make a commitment to them, and have fun in doing them.

I hope that in reading this, you also acknowledge the things in life that no longer serve you, learn to let them go, and carry on with the new desires, new goals and new dreams that are just itching for you to grab hold of and run with.

Can I hear it from you??


~ gilli moon

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