Once upon a time I used to dream a lot

I believe that I am the master of my own destiny. I am imaginative and creative and I don't take 'no' for an answer. I believe I can be anything I want to be and thank God I didn't ask for the moon, I just changed my name to suit it. For three decades I have lived and breathed music, performing, dance, art and writing, and with some exciting adventures in far off lands and even near at home, I managed to land on some amazing stages, playing the parts I have always wanted to play. I guess I have been living my dream. It's a nice feeling to be able to say that. Not many can say they "live their dream." But I am. It has got a lot do with three notions. 1. I believe in myself, 2. I enjoy the journey, and 3. I live with the theory of abundance. This past January I spent some time at my parents' property in Australia where I spent most of my childhood. I remember that most of my childhood was spent dreaming. Dreaming that one day I would be able to do whatever I wanted to do in life, achieve many goals and aspire to some kind of greatness. My childhood dreaming lasted till I was thirty years old. I don't think I truly began to realize my dreams until then. One of the reasons is because I spent most of my objectives on some future destination, rather than living in the moment and taking hold of the opportunities that were around me. I was always thinking ahead, never satisfied with the present, or with who or what was in my hands in that time. I have always been ambitious, and my notions of success were based on other people's ideas of what that meant, for example a number one radio hit, or a best selling CD or being famous on television. I equated success to such things, and therefore felt that I was not successful because I didn't have those things yet. Being confident that I am, I never questioned that it wouldn't come in some time. I just wasn't truly appreciating who I was or what I had done, in the current moment. I also lived in a state of scarcity, that I didn't have enough to do and be who I wanted to be. So I felt like I constantly lived in a stalemate. I also didn't believe in myself. I thought I did, but now I realize that I really didn't. I was always in awe of others who had done well with their careers, and I kept on dreaming that my time would come one day in the future. On this recent trip to Australia I became fully aware that my thirty year childhood was like this. When I hit thirty I had a massive wake up call which allowed me to begin to fully realize my dreams in a fabulous way, and have continued to do that till today. More on that later. For now, let me be a little nostalgic and invite you into my childhood, the way I reflected on it recently on my trip down-under. I stayed with Mum and Dad this past Aussie summer in the main house which is gracefully situated on top of a rugged mountain overlooking acres and acres of forest. But when I lived in Australia I lived for a time in a cabin they built up behind the main house. I decided to go visit it. The old cabin on top of the hill was unlocked. I gently wrestled with the latch, slightly rusted up, to open the door. It finally gave. I had forgotten how small the place was. It was almost empty. No one had lived in it for some time. But it seemed clean. Still furnished with minimal furniture, I walked past the desk, the open planned kitchen, past the wood burning pot belly fireplace, down into the second level bedroom area. It overlooked a magnificent view of the rugged bush.

My abstract painting of the ocean was still on the wall. I loved that painting, filled with deep blues and flowing of lines. It’s a melancholy painting, with much emotion. My kitchen pots, plates and cups were still on the wooden shelves. My presence was still here, barely. But I felt my past here strongly. It brought tears to my eyes. I became emotional. This simple, rustic, small cabin represented a deep part of my past. A decade or more from my teens to my mid twenties of struggle, frustration, unrealized desires. I remember living in this cabin with everything that I owned, up here on the mountain, deep in the forest, far from civilization, with a dream for a glamorous life that I yearned for so much, away from here.

I can’t imagine any other person having experienced their thirty year long childhood like I did. Rather unique really. At this moment, looking around the little cabin, I soaked in the good and the bad. Right now I felt the isolation, the ruggedness of how it was living in this place, on this mountain. The Aussie bush is not beautiful per se. Majestic to a certain extent. But it represents a harshness and only the strong survive out here. No modern conveniences, microwave ovens, hair dryers or dish washers. Water is hard to come by. Life is lived a day at a time, thinking about food, shelter, warmth.

I realized now that I had some repressed feelings about my youth. It wasn’t an easy upbringing, out here in the bush. We did it hard. We came here from the city, when I was fourteen, to nothing but an old dam and unruly terrain. We built the main house out of second hand off-cuts, wood from the forest and rocks. We lived on solar power and caught water in rain water tanks. We never had a new car or new clothes, always second hand. I caught a school bus every day that took half an hour to drive to the bus stop and another hour to get to school. It was a long day for me, every day, which started at 6.30am and I arrived home at 6pm. Homework done only by candle light and 12 volt low lights. The food was attractive to field mice, and if they didn’t get it, mold did, quick.

No wonder I lived my life in scarcity.

I had for some time escaped and travelled when I hit eighteen. Moved to Sydney, then somehow seen a bit of Europe. Even gained a 4 year college degree. But I kept coming back to the property. It’s when I was about 24 that I actually moved “back home” and into this little cabin Mum and Dad had built somewhere along the line. They were always building something.

In this cabin I began to dream big. This is where I’d write songs and record them on my four track till 3 in the morning, singing loud because no one could hear me for miles. This is where I painting some of my best paintings. This is where I planned my music career, where I wrote the concept for Songsalive!, the songwriters organization that has crossed 4 continents now. This is where I wrote my first book, even, when I turned 30 (that magic number). I have always kept coming back to this cabin. I’m here now too. There is something about this ol’ cabin that meant everything to my soul. I created who I am in this cabin. I’ve since gone on and achieved so many dreams, traveled the earth, become somewhat stable and.... abundant.

I didn’t feel so abundant ten years ago.

I remember nights and nights of being alone in this place, in the harsh of winter, without a light and no inside bathroom. I’d grab a bucket for my night loo and toss it on my roses in the morning. I didn’t want to go outside in the dead of night, up here on the hill, alone. I would huddle under the covers and imagine there weren’t any spiders or ants. I would always feel a grub or two under my sheets at night. I’d try and read under the candle light but the moths would be fluttering around competing with me for the light. But I still read lots of books. All the Agatha Christie books and any espionage book I could find. My clothes tried to stay fresh in the old cupboards but there was always a woody smell to my clothes. Things got dusty quickly. I never wore white. I didn’t have an iron. I spent a lot of time on my own. I was an only child.

I stood in the middle of the cabin feeling my past. My eyes got teary again, feeling the anguish, yet also the beauty of my past here. I remember being naive, yet ambitious. I remember how simple the life was. It was all about making sure there was enough water, or firewood for the night. I remember feeling like “one day” everything will be alright and I’ll have opportunities. I remember only living for the future. I remember being imaginative and creative, and thinking big, and having large ideals. I remember feeling like I could do anything I wanted in my life, tomorrow.

I always had a car that broke down on the highway. I could never afford a good car. One time, my 1972 Ford Escort caught fire from a leaky petrol lead on the road. It burned down. The melted steering wheel is hanging on the outside of the cabin, a sculpture reminding me of what I have overcome.

I breathed deep, and wiped away my tears. I am not who I was then. Nor would I possibly want to go back to that time and place. I knew that a lot of me was still in this room, when I was struggling to break free.

I feel like I am a late bloomer. While other twenty year olds were out clubbing, I was up here dreaming of large stages and dancing like I was a teenager, in the middle of the night, to myself. It took so long for me to leave this mountain and grow up. Coming back is like a culture shock, but then... it’s like I never left. I’ve taken the country girl, the survivor, out into the world. I’ve used my tenacity and strength to climb any hurdle. If you can survive the bush, you can survive anywhere.

I felt strong, standing in this room I once called home. I felt connected with the old green carpet and the spider webs in the corners of the wooden poles. Every inch of me was part of this place, even if I wasn’t living in it anymore.

I noticed the plants were thriving outside the kitchen window sill. I noticed that the white ants hadn’t gotten into the wood in the walls. This place was still strong and livable. It had survived. It was alive.

I knew then that time stood still. There was no time, past, present, future. I am who I am at 16, 26 and 36. I embody the same will and strength now that I had back then. I am my parents’ daughter. I am part of this place, no matter where I roam.

I took one last look at my painting on the wall, hanging there against the empty weatherboards like it was hung in a private lost art gallery. I walked out of the cabin, and closed the door on my past. I removed some weeds from around my rose bush, and headed down the hill, into my future.

So, here I am writing this new book. It's exciting to write again. It's exciting to get what's in my head, out there.

a new dawn

It's an exciting era for independent artists. In the past, as well as the present, multi-national corporations controlled mass media and pop music. They have done so before and they always will. There will always be some powerhouse company, or three, in control. It goes back to feudal days. There will always be the need for quick "hits" for music and "big opening weekends" for movies as it's motivated by money, by power and by business. The music business is about business. It's not really about music at all. Don't be sad about this. It is what it is, and I guess many artists choose this path thinking that this is the only way to be heard. They waste years waiting around hoping to be discovered by a company, and spend their working lives constantly proving themselves. Most give up, or are tossed aside.

 

But the path I prefer to talk about is called the self-empowerment path. My first book, "I AM A Professional Artist - the Key to Survival and Success in the World of the Arts", focused on the idea of artists taking control of their own careers, getting out there on their own and making it happen for themselves. I believe in defining success on one's own terms, not by some fading notion of commercial success that is just defined by others. What we have in our hands today is the opportunity to get out on the street. New music ideas have always started on the street before reaching the board rooms. New internet opportunities allow us to use grass roots methodologies of spreading the word through "friends", fans and link exchanges, whilst record labels are dying a slow death. They are just not getting their sales volumes.

 

All we need to consider is this: 1. Create great music. 2. Market the music. Whether you are an independent artist, or a major label, the 2 principles still apply. Indie artists may not necessarily have the same amount of money to market, promote and advertise the music, but they are more and more having a quicker and keener sense as to what are the latest marketing tools to use. Blogging, podcasting, websites, link exchanges, forums and discussion groups, press releases, promoting online and on the street,.. are all just pieces of the puzzle, but for the first time ever, the pieces are now in the hands of the artists to do what they want with it, rather than in the power of "they/them", (you know those people who live behind dark veils, keep the money and keep us in the dark.)

 

I'm chomping at the bit every day when I discover a new website or promotional tool that will help get my music out there. There is so much, but it takes some sweat, some fortitude, a lot of passion and a keen desire to do this for the rest of your life.

 

 It's the Art that should come first, so don't let your business affairs make you unhappy. Being business minded, disciplined and organized, means taking risks and focusing yourself in channeling your creativity. All this provides opportunities. Be mindful that opportunities come when you least expect them, so keep the door open and be ready in wonder.

Opportunities aren’t always far a field either. They can be in your own backyard. You just have to look for them. Many people will say to you, “oh, you need big bucks to make it or you’ll fail,” or, “you need to do this, this and this in order to be successful otherwise you won’t make it.” Ignore these people who say your dream is impossible to reach. Being conscientious at what you do, working toward financial independence and creative freedom ON YOUR OWN TERMS is the ONLY way.

Stay positive, optimistic, keep organized and opportunities will come your way. Besides if you are a pessimist, you will only see the failures in life. So, put a smile on your face, get your house in order and make steps to step outside.

Optimism + Organized = Opportunity

It's time to JUST GET OUT THERE.

the advent of a new book

I have decided to write a book this year based on my diary excerpts. I thought about going back in time and just finding the excerpts to re-print. But what I feel is more appropriate is a more current state of consciousness for this book, and then I can insert some stories, anecdotes and old diary memoires while travelling, into this year's diary, which I will then publish when I've finished writing enough. It could go all year. It may be completed earlier. I guess my purpose is to tangibly capture some thoughts and inspirations in a colloquial diary form, that are normally considered private material... a personal journey.... but the philosophy and ideas that come out might become motivation for you. Who knows. I'm going to embark today, January 3, of an exciting new year, and see what comes. I have a feeling I'll want to insert some poems, some lyrics to songs, some old writings I hid in scrapbooks in my closet. They'll all come out, somehow, in some way, as I navigate through my ongoing entries. I presume that if you come across an entry that doesn't inspire you, you can turn to the next. My daily moods, wanderings and thoughts will certainly influence what I write about that particular day, I'm sure. I'll probably delve into a bit about the music industry, my experiences day to day, and points to consider if you are an artist and you are on a similar path. If you're not an artist, you might find the spiritual thoughts and philosophies of some interest, reminding you what you might already know. Who knows? All I know is it's time to put it all down and having some daily reflections posted. Besides, this is a good discipline for me to write on a daily basis.

 

So sit back, relax, enjoy the read and let's see what transpires.

end of year musings. taking stock of 05

G'day everyone. Gilli here. Thought I'd send you all a newsletter to sink your teeth into as we head towards C day (you know, that apparent birthday of a prophet who seemed to spread his creativity, words and miracles far and wide.) Seems like this time of year is a great time to reflect about our own lives, where we've been, where we are going. Who we are, Who we want to become. I've landed in Australia for some good time out, holiday cheer, time with family and, of course, the usual end of year warrior girl think-tank for the new year.

It's been a terrific year, don't you think? We can all talk about the dramas, politics and natural disasters, but I would like to think that many of us have had the opportunity to really take stock of our lives through all this shenanegans this year, and achieved greatness within each of us. Because that's what it's about. Taking on whatever circumstances and being masters of our own destiny. For me, it's been an immensily creative year, with lots of travel. My life as an expressionist and an explorer has taken me far and wide across oceans and lands, with tours to Great Britain, the South West of U.S, East Coast and now I'm in Australia. I also have been blessed with being still, in the music studio, producing 3 albums that I'm terribly thrilled about. Of course, as you all know, I was in the studio for over a year on my latest album, extraOrdinary life, which was completed in July and we had an L.A and NY album launch for that. Being able to create an album filled with personal anecdotes of life, love and living in Los Angeles has been very satisfying, and it's also enhanced with video and photos. The musicians on the album are incredible. I'm really honored to have had them involved, as well as my engineers and all the people involved in putting it together and now promoting it. It's a finalist (top 5) in the Independent Music Awards and we'll know how it goes this month. The judges included Norah Jones, Melissa Ethridge and Jonatha Brooks. Good company don't you think? Anyway,.. I'll be spending the next year or so marketing this album with more touring and good stuff. The tours are called the "ordinary tour" and it looks like 2006 is already going to be full-on with travel. Yippee! Some details below on getting your copy of the CD and/or downloads. I do hope you can all get a CD and support it. The artwork and enhanced part (video) alone deserves more than just a download, let alone some good music that sounds way better off the CD itself than squashed mp3s ;) So scroll down below for how to get your copy.

As part of my Warrior Girl Music 05 endeavours, I also completed Dina Gathe's album Bother Me in October and we just released the album with a great launch at the Mint, Los Angeles early December. I performed a set with my band, J Walker did spoken word (wait till you hear his upcoming spoken-word and rap CD release Rhymecology, ...oh my!), Jennifer J hosted the night and Dina Gathe rocked with her band, which I played keyboards in for kicks. Dina's album is exceptional if I do say so myself, with over a year in the making of her and I in the studio, and you can get your copy at the Warrior Girl Music store... details below. It's very rock and modern in a sense, has a great retro feel that wouldn't give it justice if I compared her, but let's say Chrissie Hindles of 05 is along the lines, with a real Gomez edge. Also another produced album (I'm really LOVING producing and want to do more!!) is Holly Light's album, to be released April/May. Already seen as a Bob Dillon meets Sheryl Crow vibe, it is again way cooler to even compare. But it's totally in your face with hits and yet has a great blues, folk and rock vibe. We have a 3 song EP on the Store available and you can hear her music on our site too. http://www.warriorgirlmusic.com/ go Artists for all the artists. Then of course, we released the Females On Fire [double] CD Compilation in August with a stunning 18 artist launch at the Mint in Los Angeles. The media have already fallen in love with this 30 artist cd and more about it written below. Next year we are doing a second compilation plus some touring. It's very exciting.

I've been doing a lot of writing. My online blog is filled with feelings and motivations, and then I usually keep my articles and motivational food for thoughts flowing. http://www.gillimoon.com/prose for all of that. I try and keep the motivation flowing for other artists who seem to battle it out in the music biz front. The times are a changing and we all really need to tackle it differently to get noticed. I'm constantly looking at new ways to do and see things. Below is my new podcasting article, which is definitely a new phenomenon that I'm loving.

As for Songsalive!, it's been an incredible year for this non-profit songwriters organization that's now 8 year's old. Here's what I can remember of it briefly, and I think it's good to take stock at how MUCH we have accomplished as a unified team (over 30 volunteers I might add who give their time freely and with passion). In 2005, we have developed 4 new chapters - Nashville TN, Austin Texas, Calgary Canada, and Byron Bay Australia. We now have 17 chapters worldwide in all four corners of the globe! We have developed an amazing list of partners with Songsalive!, the most recent being Unisong Competition, performer.com, listrocket.com, cdbaby.com, itsaboutmusic.com... and more. We have had exhibition booths in 2005 at DIY Los Angeles Feb, SXSW Austin March, Call to Arts Los Angeles April, IMC Philly Sept, Neme CT Sept, Nemo Boston Oct, Taxi Road Rally L.A Nov, Rockrgrl Seattle Nov,.. all of which we had the Songsalive! CD Samplers on exhibition. I also traveled to London and introduced us there in July. Lot's of travelling. Our Showcases and Workshops continue to happen every month and if any artists are interested check them out at http://www.songsalive.org/events where we are always looking for performers and attendees around the globe.

Finally, as you know, I'm in Australia. So keep close to the Tour page on my website for details on what might transpire down-under. Time for rejuvination and reinvention, some writing (a new book coming out soon) and summertime! There is much to do in 06, lots of creativity, being the explorer that I am with travel, and just loving the journey. I hope you are loving yours wherever you may be.

Meanwhile I wish each and every one of you a wonderful christmas, happy hanukah, merry quansa, fun holidays and anything else that might kick start your new year's resolution thinking so that 2006 will be an extraOrdinary one for you as it will be for me. Thank you for all your support, words, friendships, joy of creativity and well... just thank you. Talk to you all in the new year.

gilli moon

http://www.gillimoon.com

Read the Warrior Girl Music newsletter

www.warriorgirlmusic.com/enew

dispossessing the old, unimportant, reinventing the new, the NOW

The sky is an incandescent glow of luminous grey of the clouds, mixed with the blue of today's Australian beauty of a day. The wind is up. Which is a good thing, because it would have been over 40 degrees Celsius (110 F) today. It's cooling down.

It's so green here. Bright green in fact. We've had rain. Abnormal for summer. Might even rain tonight, like a hot balmy summer's tropical rain storm. Usually, it comes quickly. We see the bolt of lightening, and then, a minute later, hear the thunder.. deep and guttural. It tells us that mother nature is indeed in control. As it approaches, the lightening crack and thunder are closer together. Sometimes we get a crack of light in the house and a huge thunder, the sky goes green, as we are in awe of the magnificence of nature. Sometimes we lose a computer or television. These are the things we put up with living in paradise... the occasional loss of a possession. It reminds us of what is truly important in life, and what isn't.

I've spent the last year or so learning the art of dis-possession. It's an interesting concept... to simplify the clutter in our lives. Gaylah Balter, the author of "Clean Your Clutter, Clear Your Life", says that "Getting rid of clutter is not about letting go of things that are meaningful to you, it's about letting go of the things that no longer contribute to your life so that you have the time and the energy and the space for the things that do."

So I've spent a lot of time, in the two places I call "home" (Los Angeles and Australia), going through my stuff. From old diaries, paperwork, clothes, collectibles and, yes, even music CDs, I have put aside what I felt are no longer part of my current life. I've either sold the good stuff at yard sales, or on Amazon marketplace, or given the treasures away to people in need, thrift stores and even friends.

I have realized, through this cathartic effort, which takes time and is ongoing, that I have been a collecta-holic. I've clung on to things for that "just in case" time. Maybe one day I'll need this? Maybe it will be useful. How can I let this go when it provided so much sentimentality. Well, the truth is, so much of my possessions are a blueprint of my past, of what I was and not who I am now. Sometimes I feel I cannot progress, become anew, if I continue to be attached to the very possessions that way me down. I am not saying I am getting rid of everything. No. But I certainly feel it is a huge weight off my shoulders and my mind if I SIMPLIFY my life, and dis-possessing is by far the best first step.

Dis-possessing works with any attachment we have to anything, and it's not only with objects. I started cleaning out old letter and diaries which harboured negative energy on past issues, past relationships and experiences that hurt. So then, by removing those pieces, I felt so much better. But then I also have used this methodology with people, with tasks, with food, with thoughts.

I've written in my book "I AM A Professional Artist", how people in our lives can be energy zappers, and create negative impact on our lives and our evolution. Dis-possessing any friend that no longer provides a positive impact, or gives back, is an amazing feeling. Why continue to allow someone to pull you down? Friends are not always lifelong. I know it's hard to believe that sometimes, but just because we label them a "friend" doesn't mean you need to take on all their crap. If you feel that the balance of give and take is not there, or you feel a heaviness in your dealings with this person, over and over again, you know it's time to dispossess. I don't mean to say you must cut off that person from your life, but certainly you can set parameters to only allow a certain relationship and certain communication in your life that empowers you, nurtures you as much as you've nurtured them. It's really hard for artists to acknowledge this, as we are usually very giving, and gullible (we are the innocent creatives on this planet... wanting to give so much.) Finding that barometer in reading people will be a first step in avoiding and dispossessing energy zappers.

I had a to-do list a mile long. I have gone from my Outlook Tasks list to huge scrapbooks of lists, to now a tiny notebook that fits in my purse. I have reduced my list. I have started to cross off what is no longer important to me. Being busy is not the goal. Achieving the task should be the goal. But if we have so many tasks, how on earth can we achieve them all? We are not super human. (Some of us think we can be though?!) So i've started to eliminate tasks that are superfluous, that just spin the wheels and don't accomplish anything of substance. I've learned that I can't do everything in life, in this month, this week, this day. I just have to do what I can and do it in the best way. So my task list is now in a tiny notebook, and even that has become too big. I want to bring it right down. Maybe, if I can't remember what to do, I shouldn't do it. The old timer down in the valley, who takes care of his farm, with his cattle and horses, doesn't have a task list. It's all about his memory.

I've been taking a strong look at food. My diet is usually good, but I know I slip now and then. I believe in "everything in moderation", but I also believe our world eats way too much. We consume so much food. Our society is filled with disease, overweight problems and lethargy. I go out to an American restaurant and my plate is so full that I could eat the same dish for the whole week and be satisfied. Most people discard so much food and it all gets thrown away. Do you know we could cure the entire world's hunger problem by feeding the hungry with what we leave over on our plates? It's totally messed up. So I am a vegetarian, with an enormous respect for animals and our plant life. I don't want to begin a discussion on that right now but pick up a copy of Vegan News in your local community and you'll get it reading one article. I am also learning, within my diet, to eat only what I need. When I'm full I think to myself - don't be gluttonous just because it tastes nice. Eat for need, and yes surely for taste. God I love food. I love the smells and taste sensations of cooking a beautiful pasta sauce or delicious guacamole. But Stop when you are full. Dis-possess the mind-set of needing to eat for survival, and needing to eat because your parents told you you had to finish everything on your plate. Cook less. Prepare less. Understand ecology and the lack of resources in the world. Enjoy eating with another. That's where it's truly at. Sharing a meal. A meal is all about sharing your life, in that little moment. Really appreciate that moment of eating, like it's the only meal you'll eat for the rest of your life. Don't rush it. Enjoy it. Savour it.

Moments are meant to be savoured. Each and everyone of them. Living in the moment is the largest lesson I've learned in these recent years. I used to look so far beyond into the future I didn't even know the present existed.

What a powerful thought - enjoying the current moment. It has a lot to do with our thoughts, how we perceive things. Being a born-again moment lover, I am really inspired by the idea of living in the NOW. Another wonderful author, Eckhard Tolle, lives by this motto. He has written a book called "The Power of Now" where he expounds on a simple notion. "Much of the fear, anxiety and guilt that all humans experience can be traced to our inability to live in the present." Really, the NOW is the only thing that is important. For me, time has stood still. I feel time is irrelevant in my journey. The past, present and future have become all one. I am who I am, ongoing, living my destiny, in a creative and communicative world. I work hard to keep my thoughts positive. When I have a negative thought, I meditate on it and work on - dispossessing - that thought, that reasoning, that logic, that reality. Any thoughts I think are real. Thoughts are creative, as Edward de Bono says. If you think something, it becomes reality. Therefore, any thoughts we have that are negative or take us away from who we really are, and who we want to become, we need to dispossess. Let go. Don't harbour them, or they will become us.

Remember that movie, "American Beauty"? The boy next door's favorite home video he made was about a plastic bag, blowing in the wind. "Be the Bag" was the voice over. I invite you to be the bag, go with the wind, enjoy the moment, however that flows, ... and keep life simple. Simplicity is the spice of life.

Chat later.... from down-under gilli moon